


Soulless

by superfix



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 07:59:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9984209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superfix/pseuds/superfix
Summary: Sam remembers.Borrowed  (Inspired?) from the utube video - Sam/Dean - SOULLESS - Supernatural season 6 AU





	

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Now

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Sam sat up and took a shuddering breath. For just a moment the vision of his brother's face was still clear to him. And that face showed pure terror. And then the image quickly began to fade – just like it always did. 

It was the same almost every night now when he woke up in a cold sweat. 

He knew. It was from the time when he was soulless.

“Sam.” Dean rolled over in his bed. “You okay?” 

Sam lay back on his pillow. “Yeah.”

The room was dark, the air cool and heavy. He lay there quietly for a while. Dean was awake. He always knew when Dean was awake.

“Dean?”

“What?”

“What Sammy?”

“We need to talk about it.”

He could hear Dean sigh and roll over to face him.

“Talk about what?....No. We are not talking about it Sam. You can't, and I mean can't remember that time.”

“Yeah I know. But I keep having these dreams. These memories.”

“Well stop it.

Sam laughed bitterly. “If I could I would.”

“Well try harder.”

It was quiet for a while. He listened to the humming of the small bar fridge.  
From outside an occassional car sped by on the highway.

“I remember something...”

Dean sat up and rolled around to the side of the bed. “Sam...” he warned.

He sat up and then climbed out of bed. He sat down on the end, pinching his nose in frustration. 

“What did I do Dean?”

“What do you mean?'

“It's you I keep seeing. And...”

“Don't” Dean snapped. 

“What did I do to you?”

“Nothing.”

“Dean...did I...?”

“Stop it.” Dean said softly. “Just stop.”  
He flicked on the bedside lamp. 

Sam looked back and met his big brother's eyes. And he knew...

>>>>>>>>>>

Then....

>>>>>>>>>>

“Really?” Dean stood in the doorway.

He sat up. The naked brunette smiled as she too sat up. “Is this your brother?”

“Yeah, that's Dean. Dean this is Sandy.”

“It's Mandy.”

He nodded, his eyes locked on Dean's “Mandy.”

“I should leave.” Dean said, shaking his head in disgust.

“No.” he said. “We're done.”

Mandy smirked in disbelief. “We are?”

“Yeah.” Sam answered. 

He climbed out of bed. He was naked. Dean frowned and glanced over at Mandy who was quickly pulling on her t-shirt.

“You know.” Mandy said, glaring at him as she zipped up her jeans. “You're a bit of an asshole.”

He didn't answer, couldn't care less what she thought. He was watching Dean.

“Have a good night.” she said as she pushed by Dean.

“Yeah..you too.”

Dean pulled the door closed and looked at him in disbelief.

“So?”

“What?”

“Sam I called you. Didn't you look for me?”

“Yeah I looked. I found your phone.”

“And?”

“And, I looked around and I couldn't find you. So I came back here.”

“And you hooked up with some chick.”

He shrugged. “Is that a problem?”

“You know what. It's not. I think I'm just going to leave.”

Dean walked over and grabbed his duffel bag and threw it on the bed. 

What a freakin baby, he thought. 

“You're leaving? Why?”

“Because,” Dean said. “You know, I don't know how to deal with this right now. I need to talk to Bobby...or maybe Cas.”

Yeah, that's not going to happen.

He walked over to him and grabbed his arm, pulling him around to face him.

“Stop.” Dean yanked his arm away in irritation.

“What do you need to talk to Bobby about? What is it?”

Dean sat down on the bed. “You're not you, Sam.” he said thoughtfully. “There's somehting wrong with you. Since you came back...no you were back for a year before you even bothered letting me know, weren't you?”

Ancient history now. Dean just wouldn't let that one go.

“I told you. I thought that was what you wanted Dean.”

“Like you said once Sam, you're a better hunter then me. You're smarter..stronger. You're probably better without me slowing you down anyway.” 

He grabbed him and yanked him up, off the bed.

“Sam, what are you...?”

He slammed him up against the wall. It was easy. He was strong...really strong. Dean tried to push him off. 

“Get off me.”

“You're right Dean. I am stronger and I am smarter. You think you just get to walk away?”

He gripped his throat and pushed him up, his feet barely touched the floor. 

“Stop.” 

And then he leaned in close. Dean looked so surprised....scared. 

“What are you doing?”

“Since you sent my whore home, you don't just get to leave Dean.”

And then he kissed him, crushing Dean's lips, forcing them open. Dean had those nice full lips...he'd always kind of wondered... 

Dean struggled frantically, pulling his face to the side. “God Sam.” 

>>>>>>>>>>>

Now.

>>>>>>>>>>>

 

Sam grabbed his jacket and rushed out of the room. He needed to run...to breathe. He heard Dean call out to him. He stopped and turned. Dean stood in the doorway. 

Shit, he thought, he looks so scared.

“Where are you going?” he asked. 

“For a walk. Don't follow me Dean. I … I need to think.”

“Sam.”

“I mean it Dean, please...do not follow me.”

It was a dark night. The kind of night you only see in the country where there's no reflection of distant city lights on the dark sky above. 

He walked slowly along the gravelled road. He could hear the chirping of crickets or maybe it was frogs. Didn't matter really. 

He glanced back. He wasn't sure how long or far he'd walked. In the distance a car sped by along the highway. Maybe a half mile he thought. 

It would have helped if he could scream or maybe cry or...he needed it just not to be. 

Suddenly he felt sick, his stomach churning. And then he tasted the hot bile rise up in his throat. He fell to his knees and vomited into the long grass and wildflowers that edged the road. 

When he finished he lay down and stared up at the night sky. The stars were mostly hidden by a thick, black cloud cover. There was no moon. Must be the new moon, he thought. 

And then he started to weep.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>

Then.

>>>>>>>>>>>

“God Sam.” 

He smirked. He could do anything. Dean was always so arrogant...so cocky. Didn't hide the fact that he thought he was some kind of freak.

He yanked his shirt open, the buttons flying. Dean was struggling, his breath shuddering. 

“What are you doing?”

“I think you need a little lesson in humility Dean.”

He stepped back, his hand still locked on Dean's throat. Dean knocked it away and rushed to the bed. He grabbed his bag.

“I'm outta here.” he said. 

“You want to leave?”

Dean didn't answer. He picked up the bag and turned.

“Goodbye Sam.”

“Wait. Please Dean. Please, just wait.” he took a deep breath. Even made a little sound, like he was almost crying. “I shouldn't have done that. I don't know what's wrong with me. Please...just don't leave me. Not right now.”

He tried not to smile when Dean stopped and turned to look at him.

He looked sad...put on that good old puppy dog face that Dean always fell for. 

So easy.

Dean chewed his lower lip. Full...sexy lip. He felt a twinge down below. 

“Why?” Dean asked softly. 

“You're my brother. You're all I have.”

Good answer. Ace in the hole.

Dean dropped the bag and walked over. He sat back down on the bed. 

“I have to get away Sam. We need to think. We will figure this out.”

“Please, can we just talk about it? What I just did...I know that's not me Dean.”

Dean sighed and shook his head. “Well to start with, you want to put something on.” he said with a grimace. 

Dean had some cuffs and lube in his bag. Pervert. He'd seen them. 

“Yeah, of course.” 

He grabbed his jeans. 

“I have to...just don't leave okay? Please? Not til we talk.”

Dean sighed. “Fine.”

He walked into the bathroom and shut the door. 

He unzipped the small leather bag that sat on the back of the toilet. They were in there, just like he thought. He picked up the cuffs. Looked like police issue or something. He smirked. Dean probably used them on Cas. Like Sam didn't know. Like he was blind or something. Lube too. He shook his head. Yeah, like he didn't know.

He stepped into the jeans and then reached down and flushed the toilet.

The cuffs were open. 

Dean was strong, but he was stronger. It shouldn't be too hard.

Dean glanced up when he came out. 

The bed had a wooden bedpost. Slats...perfect. Looked solid.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I'm okay.” Dean answered. “I was thinking maybe we should head to Bobby's tonight.”

He looked humble. “You want to go tonight?”

“I can't see us sleeping much tonight Sam. We could just go.”

“Are you going to tell him what happened?”

Dean rubbed his face and stood up. “No. But he knows what's been going on. I don't know, maybe he can help.”

Dean turned his back to him. 

Sweet...perfect. 

He rushed up and grabbed his arm yanking it back.

“Sam! Stop.”

He slapped on the cuff. “What the hell...?”

And then he yanked his arm up hard. Dean grunted. 

Getting him on the bed wasn't too hard. Surprisingly easy actually. He forced his arm up and pulled the cuff around the slat. Dean was fighting. He grinned...it was a struggle...but that was part of it. Felt good to overpower him. Perfect Dean. He yanked up his other arm and slapped on the cuff.

“What are you doing? Sam stop this.” 

Dean struggled to pull loose. The bedpost shook but it was solid. Sam stood up, a little breathless. 

“Take these off.” Dean cried. “Now Sam.” He struggled even more frantically.

Sam smirked and pulled down his fly. He pushed his jeans to the floor and stepped out of them. 

He walked into the bathroom. The bottle of lube sat on the sink's edge. He picked it up. It didn't matter if it hurt Dean. Dean needed a lesson anyway. Still, it would feel better.

He looked at his reflection in the cracked bathroom mirror. He looked good...buff. People noticed. He got looks. That was, unless Dean was next to him. Then he was just the other one. Dean had always been the star. People stared at him...men and women. They wanted him. Always him. Dean pretended he didn't notice. But he knew. 

He walked back into the bedroom. Dean's bag was lying by the door. He walked over and unzipped it. His machete was carefully encased in a leather cover. It had to be of course. It was very sharp. 

He picked it up.

Dean was trying to see him, turning his head. “What are you doing?” he asked.

He unclipped the leather and slipped the blade out. It gleamed. Dean always kept his weapons so clean...perfect Dean.

It cut through his leather belt and then the denim like butter. He was careful. He didn't want to cut that tender skin. 

“Stop moving. I'm trying to be careful here Dean.”

He cut down the pant leg til he reached the cuff. And then he cut the other. Dean was quiet. But Sam could hear his shuddered breaths. He was scared.

He yanked away the material. Dean's white ass was round and perfect. “I'll leave your boots on.” he said. “Kind of hot.”

He sat down next to him and caressed the soft flesh. Then he reached over and grabbed the lube. In the quiet of the room it gurgled loudly, almost obscenely as he pushed it in and squeezed.

“If you do this...You won't be able to live with it Sam. You can stop now. Please.” he pleaded softly.

“Always thinking of me, huh Dean? Even now. Hey do you remember that song? The one you pretended you didn't like?

He sang softly, his voice amused. 

You'd do anything for me.  
Take a bullet straight in the brain for me.  
Yes you would die for me baby.  
But I wouldn't do the same.

“I guess that's not quite right. But, really more accurate.” He pushed his thumb between Dean's cheeks til he felt the give and then pushed it in. Dean cried out.

“God Sam...please don't do this.”

“It's not like this is something new for you. I mean...come on.” Sam laughed. “What's it like to get fucked by an angel anyway?”

Dean once again struggled to pull loose his hands. The headboard shook.

“So hot. So tight Dean. You know it'll be better for you if you relax.”

He pulled out his thumb. The wooden bedframe creaked as he climbed onto the bed, the mattress sinking beneath his knees as he straddled him.

He reached down and grasped his dick. Then he prodded.

Dean suddenly lurched. “I'll kill you Sam!” he yelled.

He found the spot and pushed. It wasn't easy. Dean's ass was clenched. He pushed hard. Finally it slipped through. Dean cried out into the pillow.

He didn't hold back...wanted him to feel every thrust. This wasn't just sex. But it was pure pleasure – he owned him. 

The bed shook beneath them, the springs creaking loudly in the quiet room. Sam felt his climax build. It was so good...so hot.

Dean had stopped struggling. His face was buried in the pillow.

Finally Sam felt that final rush of pleasure and came, shooting out deep inside of him. He was breathing heavily, his heart pounding. He gave one final push and then he relaxed, resting his full weight on him.

He just lay there for a while, still inside of him. Dean was still now.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Now

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

He opened the motel door and walked into the quiet room.

He glanced at him and then looked down.

Dean was sitting in the corner. He was dressed in his jeans and black t-shirt, his feet were bare. He held a half full bottle of beer in his hand. He placed it on the table.

“Are you alright?” Dean asked.

“No.”

“You were gone awhile.” 

“Yeah.” 

He sat down on the end of his bed and rubbed his eyes.

“What's going on Sam?”

He didn't answer for a few moments. Dean waited. 

Sam knew he was studying him – feeling helpless. 

“I have to leave Dean.”

“What do you mean?”

Finally he looked up. Hiding was no answer. He met his brother's eyes.

“There are no words Dean...nothing I could ever say.”

Dean frowned and tried to look confused. Sam smirked bitterly.

And then finally Dean nodded. “It wasn't you Sam.”

“Yeah, it was. I remember everything.”

“No.” Dean pointed to him. “You...the you that I'm looking at right now? Would never do anything like that. Nothing that happened is your fault.”

Sam nodded. “I can't stay Dean.” 

He stood up and retrieved his duffel bag and threw it on the bed.

“Please don't.” Dean said softly.

He walked into the bathroom and grabbed his shampoo and shaving gear. He walked back into the room. He wasn't sure if he had everything, but it didn't really matter. 

He zipped up the bag.

Dean stood up and gently grabbed his arm. Sam looked at him, his eyes flooded with tears. 

“I gotta go.” He reached up for a moment and caressed his brother's cheek. He would never love anyone like he loved Dean.

“Take the car.” Dean said.

Sam shook his head and threw his bag up on his shoulder.

He opened the door. 

“Sammy.”

He paused for a moment, but didn't look back. And then he stepped out and closed the door softly behind him.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>

Two months later.

>>>>>>>>>>>

He blinked his eyes opened and then squinted. Bright light was pouring in through the blinds. The city noises - traffic, horns blaring, some beeping backup alarm seeped into his brain. He quickly covered his eyes and groaned. And then he sat up. 

For a moment the room swam. He hadn't eaten in some time. He lived mostly on booze now. 

He sat on the side of the bed rubbing his dry, sore eyes.

“Why are you here?” he asked.

“I came to help.”

He sighed and looked up. 

The angel had pulled a chair up next to the bed. He looked clean and crisp, in his trenchcoat and white shirt. His blue eyes were watching him with their usual intensity.

Sam shook his head and scowled. “Go away Cas. I don't need your help.”

“No. But he does.”

Sam smirked. “Right. He asked you to come.”

Cas nodded.

“I guess you know what I did to him?”

“Yes.”

“And you still want to help me?”

“As I said, I'm here for him.”

“I guess you'd do anything for him wouldn't you?”

Cas smiled curiously as though the question was absurd. “Of course.”

And then he reached across and touched Sam's forehead.

…...............

Sam sat up, the sun in his eyes. 

He looked up and Dean stepped out of the bathroom. He grinned back at him. “Mornin sunshine.” 

Sam crinkled his nose. 

“What?” Dean asked.

Sam shook his head. “Nothing...just a weird dream I guess.”

“Clowns or midgets?” Dean asked.

“I don't know. I don't really remember...it was just weird.”

“Yeah? Well, sometimes it's best just to forget Sammy.”

He popped the toothbrush back in his mouth and disappeared into the bathroom.

>>>>>>>>


End file.
